Oh! The games people play! We have all heard or perhaps experienced our fair share of love affairs that started out with so much hope and reciprocity only to end up in smoke & ashes for one reason or another. Everyone’s situation is unique so passing judgment is a foolish venture, but I have to admit, men (sorry fellas) are largely to blame (although women aren’t too far behind in the blame department!).
The notion of “men are from Mars/Women from Venus” has some elements of truth in it as it appears that we see & experience things differently on many levels. Studies on the brains of men and women have proven this. For example, men rank good looks and facial attractiveness more important than women do, whereas women rank honesty, humor, kindness and dependability more important than men do. Men cheat more than women do not because of love, but because of sex. Some women cheat because of sex, but mostly they cheat because of the aforementioned factors (kindness, attentiveness, etc). What I have learned is that the golden key to any relationship is compromise. Conceptually easy to understand, but damn hard to execute as so many factors come into play (class & cultural differences, education & experience, etc) which tend to lean more towards antagonistic contradictions. What I find lacking in most folks is the art of compromise or sacrifice. It’s as if no one wants to give up his/her selfish desires/inclinations & would much rather conveniently sweep stuff under the rug (which is why most relationships fail).
I am no “relationship expert” (don’t believe in that crap as those so-called experts with all the answers have their fair share of breakups too!), but I do know that what are absolute “musts” in any relationship are gut-bucket honesty and no-frills communication every step along the way. Oh sure, feelings will get hurt sometimes, but would you prefer to live in a happy lie or a painful truth? If you answer the former, your ass is doomed.